Welcome to “Curl Chronicles,” a space where we delve into the world of Black hair – exploring its beauty, challenges, and everything in between. In this edition, writer Shani Hillian opens up about her personal journey of self-discovery through caring for her daughter’s hair.
I vividly recall the moment I first had my hair pressed at the tender age of 10 in the ’90s. Sitting in the salon chair, I felt the heat of the Marcel iron working its magic on my 3C curls, transforming them into shiny, straight strands. The scent of burnt hair filled the air, but the allure of having hair like my idols Aaliyah and Monica was irresistible. After the transformation, I couldn’t help but run my fingers through my newly straightened hair in excitement. That moment marked the beginning of my love-hate relationship with straightening my curls and the gradual belief that my natural hair was somehow not good enough.
As I entered a predominantly white high school in Voorhees, New Jersey, my negative perceptions of my natural hair deepened. Surrounded by peers and celebrities who favored straight hairstyles, I felt the pressure to conform to society’s beauty standards. The lack of representation of curly hair in the media further reinforced the notion that my natural curls were not desirable. I found myself constantly straightening my hair or opting for protective styles, never fully embracing my natural texture. Little did I know, this internalized stigma towards my curls was shaping my self-image.
At home, my working mom often encouraged braids and protective styles as they were easier for her to manage. While I don’t doubt that she found my curls beautiful, the lack of knowledge and guidance on how to care for my natural hair left me feeling like it needed to be tamed or hidden. Without the right education and validation, I struggled to see the beauty in my natural curls.
It was through caring for my daughter’s hair that I embarked on a journey of healing and self-acceptance. As I learned how to care for her coils and kinks, I began to appreciate the beauty in embracing our natural hair textures. Nurturing her curls became a form of self-care for me, leading me to love and appreciate my own hair more. Caring for her hair became a pathway to reclaiming my identity and embracing my natural beauty.
In understanding the complexities of Black hair, I’ve realized that our hair is more than just a physical attribute – it’s a reflection of our history, culture, and resilience. Embracing our natural hair is an act of self-love and empowerment, a celebration of our roots and heritage. As we navigate the ups and downs of Black hair, let’s remember that our curls are a crown to be worn with pride.
